A gift for the 3rd

Myself got so beaten when facing that moment. all i could remember was only that sentence. so real so deep and so hurt. It suddenly tear down the wall that have built.

i tried myself to kept calm. collecting all the positif sights and let the negative gone. alhamdulillah i did it well even it was difficult. and more, i had a lot of people with their support and suggestion with that problem. Thank you is never been enough for saying to My Allah.

Well what i would like to telling you, that there was a missunderstanding as what my partner said to me. Yes, he did. He apologized as he wanted and i just stood and listend to what i could accept. Oh no, I didn't try to be that strong, I only showed my pride as a girl. And that way means, you might play but I know what I should do back then.

Relationship needs a respect and believe. And I have it all my best. But this LDR takes much than what i can provide from myself. Just like what i had at this 3rd. It shocked me a lot. Yet, i still have to say "Alhamdulillah" because every mountain will find difficulties of its own.

Well, I realize that reality doesn't always come as what we picture in our mind. But honestly this moment i've gotten stornger than before. Maybe because i leave it all to My Allah. and humility, I can only pray for our best. Because i still wanna have more years to come with my partner. May Allah bless us,amin.


12-12-12

a lost brother :')

Well, there's a day where i can't even deny.The day when i met u after an aged. There were lot of questions from our eyes. Yet, we could only say "How's life" and it's a relief when you said everythings done well and you are a daddy of a beautiful daughter now.

He was my boyfriend, a senior at SHS. Our relationship didn't run well so, we decided to saparate when still was at SHS. Fortunately, we got closer after all. That is why i don't have any feeling to stop this relationship even i shouldn't have accepted a meeting after his marriage. But i thought "silaturahim" cannot be cut by anything, except trying a bad intention.

Luckily, we met when i had such a hectic problem with my partner. I thanked God because he is as brother as it should. A solution and support came so smoothly. I hope nothing than a happiness for both of ur living. And last, i don't even try to be the third person. I wish God passed over me.

white drop..

when it's love that causes pain
shedding tears can be the cure
there's no wrong that you've done with me
but you always say sorry
for my shake you should not say cry
it is alright i understand all

when you are this sof, how can i let you go?
this love that i show may be just too cold
chilled as my heart is
you cannot just leave from it

if all great memories are frozen up
if they can't be erased and they just won't melt, what to do?

the sunlight is also cold
on the days when you aren't here
two hands won't be enough for me to count

all that brings memories
just for me don't try to smile
if i worry to you, how can i just leave you?

this love that i show may be just too cold
chilled as my heart is
you cannot just leave from it

if all great memories are frozen up
if they can't be erased and they just won't melt, what to do?

turn back! go!
cause if you wait, who knows i will hold onto you
don't close by me, don't run into me either
cause i will run, and give you a hug

it's only for you
that i wish my wishes
my heart you may know but you can't come up to me
though you may once more make me love you
i will only give pain, tears
that's what i'm scared of

melancolic steps

i thought it didn't exist anymore, but it was. it was clear on my mind, how did a shaking hands saying a sweet hello to me behind the shelf. i had never acrossed my mind that it was a really sweet hello for something. it was just a hello for sure.

in reality we closely talked without having any discomfort feelings. gave support, told jokes, strenghten, even talked roughly one another. but, it seemed that every single moment accidentally happend with an intention. i got myself being tickled by some kinds of feelings. it was odd but real.

it so much funny how life set all the scenario. such a flow, it formed the way it should be. Becoming a friend and letting my ear to be used as a good listener for a lot of love stories got me sick. since first i put on my mind that it would be happend soon or later. and it was there. i could stand. but then i laugh soundly

life such a magic wand. surprising. a mid time when i almost lose the bound. it sticked itself. i was one of the companion. had day out together. laughed our days and enjoy them, indeed. like a group of future. i was treated differently. but i had never got the point seriously.

a bit far when i realized that we got it closer. i was afraid that i would be the end of all. i didn't want to take any step. i stood on my sight. but then it came to the end of a new beginning. it really was. it took time to convince ourselves for a faith of something never appeared but beat beautifully.

there will be nobody love like i love you. that's the right sentence f.o.r.e.v.e.r for us

Wirid Wanita Saat Haid

Banyak muslimah yg mengalami penurunan iman drastis setiap kali mengalami haid, ini dikarenakan salah persepsi atau keliru dlm menyikapi.
Faktor-faktor penyebabnya antara lain:
- Minimnya ilmu
Minimnya pengetahuan muslimah terhadap jenis-jenis ibadah, terutama ibadah hati. ibadah jg sering dimaknai sempit, sebatas ibadah-ibadah khusus, sehingga wajar jika muslimah merasa kehilangan peluang beribadah ketika haid.
“sesungguhnya amal hati lebih agung & lebih berat dari pada amal jawarih (anggota badan)” (Ibnu Qayyim Al-Jauziyyah)
- Jauh dari dzikrullah
Sibuk dengan perkara yg mubah & lalai dengan dzikrullah juga menjadi tradisi muslimah saat haid.
“dzikir bagi hati laksana air bagi ikan, maka bagaimana nasib ikan jika dikeluarkan dr air?” (Ibnu Taimiyah)
“perumpamaan org yg berdzikir kpd Allah dg yg tdk berdzikir itu sprt org yg hidup & yg mati” (HR. Bukhori)
- Sibuk dg dosa
Kemana lagi larinya nafsu ketika sepi dari dzikir & ketaatan. ia akan kembali pada kecenderungannya, kepada keburukan & dosa (ammaratun bis su’).
Agar kuat iman saat datang bulan
1. Hendaknya wanita menerima fitrah yg telah Allah tetapkan, tidak menyesali atau bersu’uzhan kpd Allah.
2. Meluruskan persepsi bahwa masa haid adalah masa libur wanita dari seluruh ibadah.
3. Menyibukkan diri dengan ketaatan.
4. Menjauhkan diri dari maksiat.
Amalan hati penyejuk ruhani
1. Menghadirkan keikhlasan, bahwa ketika dia meninggalkan shaum & shalat saat haid, ia tengah menjalankan ketaatan kpd Allah.
2. Muraqabatullah (merasakan pengawasan Allah)
“tidakkah mereka mengetahui bahwa Allah mengetahui segala yg mereka sembunyikan & segala yg mereka lakukan dg terang²an?” (QS. Al-Baqarah:77)
3. Muhasabah (introspeksi diri)
“hisablah dirimu (di dunia) sblm dirimu dihisab (di akhirat), berhiaslah dg amal utk menghasadi hisab yg besar, karena hisab akan diringankan pd hari kiamat bagi orang yg menghisab dirinya di dunia” (HR. At Tirmidzi)
4. Mujahadah (kesungguhan utk memerangi nafsu)
“dan adapun orang² yg takut kpd kebesaran rabbnya & menahan diri dr keinginan hawa nafsunya, maka sesungguhnya surgalah tmpt tinggalnya” (QS. An Naziat:40-41)
Larangan bagi wanita haid
1. Shalat
“bukankah ketika wanita haid itu tdk shalat & tdk pula shaum?” (HR. Bukhori)
2. Shaum
shalat yg ditinggalkan selama haid tdk ada perintah utk di qadha’, berbeda dg shaum yg hrs di qadha’ di hr lain.
Aisyah berkata, “dahulu kami mengalaminya (haid), maka kami diperintahkan untuk mengqadha’ shaum, tp tdk diperintahkan utk mengqadha’ shalat” (HR. Bukhori)
3. Thawaf
“lakukanlah apa yg dilakukan jamaah haji, hanya saja jangan melakukan thawaf di ka’bah sblm kamu suci” (HR. Bukhori)
4. i’tikaf (berdiam diri di masjid)
5. jima’ (senggama)
6. talak (cerai)
7. membaca Al-Qur’an
tentang membaca Al-Qur’an bagi wanita haid trjadi banyak perbedaan pendapat.adapun ttg membaca Al-Qur’an dg memegang mushhaf, kbnykan ulama mengharamkannya. namun para ulama berbeda pendapat ttg hukum wanita haid membaca Al-Qur’an tanpa menyentuh mushhaf.
Amal pilihan saat datang bulan
1. Istighfar di waktu sahur
2. Dzikir pagi hari
3. Dzikir sehari semalam
4. Dzikir sore hari
5. Menghidupkan sunnah & ketaatan
6. Memulai segala sesuatu dari yg kanan
7. Taat pd suami
8. Thalabul ilmi
9. Bersedekah
10.Menjauhi perkara sia² dan dosa

Sumber : buku “Wirid Wanita Haid”

another stones

do you believe that there are not accident in life?

that's what i'm trying to keep on my mind in any sweet and bitter moment. everything has been set by Our Lord. there is no coincidence but a truly faith.

i hate myself telling this but still struggling in my heart. but i keep it for a positive stress. for the thing that a little bit more difficult than before.

everything's happen with a causal situation or a correlation, which sometimes the meaning cannot be figured it out. but indeed they are reliable. a great one that we have never thought would happen.

i cried my heart for having such a hard moment. i swallowed my saliva for the moment that i could even stand to cry and i did a lot of things to overcome. i passed but i almost died.

another stones. represents another from the few of its. few of a challenge to be accomplished.

everything happens for reason. and that is a simply why to make our Lord love us. to stay near. that there are no biggest power than our Lord.

Perahu Kertas *lyric

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